Bay of Blood

This movie was quite impressive. The story is actually very complex for a movie that most people deemed as a Slasher movie. It doesn't have the normal feel of a slasher movie. It is more like a suspense thriller, now granted the deaths are very graphically portrayed in the film which is probably why this has earned the slasher label. The direction is very well done and the editing is very good too. The director keeps the movie moving and there are very few slow spots in the film. The director also does an excellent job of keeping you guessing until the third act who is the killer. There is also a mixture of techniques used in this film. In one section, instead of hard cuts the director went between scenes by going out of focus and then in focus. Giving a more fluid feel to the transitions than your normal hard cut or wipe. Also there is excellent use of POV to help build suspense and mystery in this "slasher" movie. The body count also does not dissapoint and the twists in the plot make you have to pay attention to what actually is going on or you risk getting lost. Lets just say that the neighbor hood around the Bay of Blood is very fatal to the residents there. I LOVED the ending of this picture. It was an out of nowhere ended that was not seen coming by a long shot, pardon the pun. Lets just say the ending was not a Hollywood one. Now on to the run down, as always in honor of that fantastic critic Joe Bob Briggs:
1 Hanging
1 death by Knife stabbing,
1 completely naked female swimmer
1 Slash to the throat death
1 two for one death of a love making couple by spear
1 Machete to the Face. 1 Strangulation with a phone cord
1 Beheading 1 barehanded strangulation
1 death by spearing against the wall
1 death by scissors

Highly recommended. Not only because its an excellent movie but also to see where many of todays slasher movies got their influence. And an awesome ending.

Bachelor Party in the Bungalow of the Damned

So these guys end up having a bachelor party and the strippers turn out to be vampire, demons, something or other. They werer just as scary out of makeup as they were in makeup which was not saying much. Now being a low budget film expectations aren't exactly high but since it was bachelor party themed I figured there would be some decent you know T & A. Yeah I know it sounds sexist but lets face it sometimes that can be the most redeeming factor of a bad film. Anyway no such luck here. This movie is slow to get things started and when they do you can barely tell what is going on. Now in the plus column the video quality and audio it self were very good which are two things that can really destroy a low budget film. This movie was not even in the bad but good category as much as a yawner....with scarey strippers. Anyway to sum up
1Breast shot
1 SImulated oral sex Death by man eating breasts ( not as cool as you might think)
1 fight with intestines
1 Beheading
2 neck bites Death by ass stabbing

Thats about it. You can leave this one off your que folks its not hardly worth the disk it is written on. Even the gore was disappointing and the CGI was just plain aweful....not funny haha aweful just bad.

The Devils Plaything

Ah yes if there was a movie that summed up sexploitation well it would be this film. Course it was written and directed by one of the pioneers of the this style of movie. It is put in the category of horror but soft core porn would be more fitting. Its a movie that would be played on Midnights on Skinemax...I mean Cinemax , not that I ever would watch cinemax at this time of night as a teen. anyway this movie has it all Breasts, vampires, lesbian vampires, breasts, mild incest themes, did I mention breasts. The acting is okay but you get the feeling that the writer/director had tried his hardest , pardon the pun, to have four hot women naked for most of a movie. The plot of a lesbian vampire trying to come back from the grave with the help of her servants while interesting and has potential ended up being an excuse to show hot naked women ...alot. The whole incestual sub plot was an interesting twist so far as I did not see it coming. Like many movies of this type from that era there is a lot of jumping around in the editing that makes it hard at times to keep the characters straight and what is happening. Many of scenes do not have anything said or done in them that would naturally explain the scene after. Now the entire film is not like this but a good half of it is. I understand that there are budget and time restraints but even tossing a line in saying...hey lets go explore the woods would be helpful, rather than having people talk about dinner in one scene and suddenly boom we are in the woods. There was also a random shot of a Candle shaped penis that looked a little too realistic. Anyway if your looking for a movie about a naked lesbian vampire controling naked women and making them get off is hot then Devils Plaything is for you: the run down.

1 - title breast shot many many breast shots

1 sex scene in a stable 4 full frontal nude scenes

1 Penis candle

2 female masturbation scenes

1 Bats remove a womans clothes

Did I mention breast shots

Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead

This wonderful work of cinema is brought to us by Troma Video. Yes the toxic avenger company. Lloyd Kaufman directs this chicken zombie musical love story about a fast food chicken resturaunt built on top of an old indian burial ground. Course the spirits are pissed and rather that move furniture and talk to a little girl through TV static the spirits decide to inhabit the bodies of the chickens used at the resturant. Anyone who eats the chicken becomes chicken zombies. There is a romance between our hero, a nerdy white guy, and his on/off girlfriend who became a lesbian while the guy was off to college. Whats great about a film like this is that they know exactly what type of film they are making. The cast all seems to have a great time with the movie. Being an direct to video release they also are not under the constraints of the MPAA so the are alot of crude humor including a zombie chicken person with a large zombie chicken penis. This movie is definitely for the Gore whore as there is a large body count and plenty of blood splatter. There are also many offensive jokes against native americans, blacks, gays, and nerdy white guys. The main female character played by new comer Kate Graham is hot and has no problems with doing a nude scene (come on a b-horror movie without nudity is like a pop tart with no filling). She also has a great singing voice and seems to be the only one out of all the cast who actually is trying to act. Probably since it is her first acting gig. Look also for a cameo by the director himself and also a cameo by the famous Ron Jeremy, sorry ladies he stays fully clothed in the film). So to spare you the horror of watching the film I will give you the run down the best I can on the nude scenes and body count. Here we go:
13 breast shots including Musical number with 8 topless women
1 penis shot
1 death by zombie hand through the ass
1 extreme diarea shit covered walls scene
1 death by meat grinder
1 Severed penis
1 death while having sex with zombie chicken carcass
1 death by turning into Zombie chicken egg
2 Beheadings
2 death by disembowling
1 face ripped off
1 death by face through deli meat slicer
1 death by fry vat
1 set of deep fried testicles
1 death by wish bone treatment
1 death by chicken nuggets
multiple zombie deaths

SO if your looking to get your fill of zombies and gore but your significant other is looking for a romantic musical, why not rent this film and get both. It gets the 3 severed heads rating.

Donkey Punch

The Movie Donkey Punch was very interesting. Not just because there is nudity in it. The movie was better than most trapped on a boat movies I have seen. I think one of the reasons it did not make it here was one all the actors are australian, or british, or to more plainly...people with thick accents. Those movies aren't the best just because you have to concentrate to listen to the dialog and we all know the average movie audience today really doesn't like to concentrate or think about whats going on. Anyway, yes it is about a trio of girls on Holiday, as it is called over the pond, and they meet up with four gentlemen who are crew on a massive yatch. Well the men use their large yatch to impress the girls and they go for a ride. There's alcohol, drugs and eventually a rather steamy sex scene. This is where the movie turns as during the scene someone decideds to try a donkey punch and it ends very badly and the girl involved ends up dead. The rest of the movie is along the lines of Dead Calm as some of the group start to go crazy and the longer they delay just heading into land and facing the consequences, they stay out at sea. THis allows things to break down. You can see where the movie is going. I will say that there were a few moments of "wow they actually did that" and there was a fair amount of suspense. The actors are great at selling the crazy and the directing is such to where you actually care for nearly all the characters. It is a decent suspensful thriller. Worth a watch

Johnny Sunshine

And now it is not a story about a happy go lucky guy named Johnny Sunshine who decides to go on a cross country trip to his grandmas cottage in Alaska. Along the way teaching everyone to see the world in a brighter light and solving the problems of everyone he meets. No its rather the name of a Rather attractive Zombie slaying drug addict who makes torture, porn, snuff short films for a company Max Productions during a post apocolyptic world where Zombies are everywhere. Between this movie Bachelor Part at the Bungalow for the Damned And Bloodsucking Babes from Burbank I think Brain Damage pictures owes me about four hours of my life back. Seriously why do these independent Underground Low Budget movies feel they have to take it to the next extreme level in order to be an "Underground" movie. Look I will say this that the audio was decent and the picture quality was good. The F/X were ok and the women were easy on the eyes. But even with all of those elements you need a decent story which this movie lacks. It was almost as if the creators thought of all these cool torture porn scenes but needed a way to put them together in a story form to justify making them. Really I know I seem to jsut be setting my self up for dissapointment with movies from this company but I figured three time is a charm. Dunno maybe the whole Idea of torture porn is not for me. Or maybe its just the fact that I like a little more coherence in my stories. IF you want to see a hot chick get off while disembowling men and women then go for it. While I comend them for doing alot as far as f/x , audio, video quality and even acting I would have wished they could have came up with a better story. Its a zombie movie that just didn't do it for me. Maybe it will for you but I would say only if you have alot of alcohol readily available. The run down will give you an Idea of what kind of movie your in for.
1 Death by gut stab
1 tongue removal by pliers while having sex
1 Death by wire choking
2 Throats eaten
2 Neck Stabbing
1 sex sceen with zombie with ending head bashing
1 Naked Girl killed by Crowbar sex
1 Zombie Castration by recipocating saw
2 Zombie deaths by being beaten in the head
1 Pipe to the head
1 rape scene
1 Death by Television

While it is the best out of the three movies I have seen from Brain Damage Pictures I would not recommend it for anyone who is not a fan of the EXTREME underground horror movie and torture porn

The Trailer Park of Terror

My favorite blond Nichole Hiltz from "All Souls Day" is back with a decent zombie film. This one had a decent budget, great makeup and a story even. She is joined by a cast made up of faces you may recognize. No A - list actors to be sure but ones who are no stranger to the silver screen. They do a great job of selling this film and you can tell they had fun. Look for Pricilla Barnes who I recognized from Devils Rejects. Even the guy who played the Joker's gopher man Bobby is in this film. Now going into this film I did not expect much of anything so I was pleasently surprised by the quality of the film. It had a budget and you can tell. The movie in the begining makes a reference to 2000 Maniacs as a nod to the Hill Billy Zombie film that is still one of my top 10 faves. Trailer park handles itself well the pacing is decent and the effects and make up looked good. They even got Trace Adkins to play the devil of sorts. Where there are zombies there needs to be gore and this movie does not disappoint. The last half hour really moves the film along and by the end of the film you don't feel like you have just waisted 90 mins of your life....maybe only 55mins lol. The characters are a bit cliche but in lower budget horror you have to have this so you don't have to waist pesky time on "character development" who wants that in a zombie film. All in all this movie was a pleasent surprise and I may buy it when I see it on the bargin bargin rack. BTW I actually saw this on the new release rack at Target next to Get Smart.Decisions decisions.
Gotta love the review of 2000 maniacs Love a song with the words "I bet that bitch can turn a crank. Make a dead man cum like a sherman tank"
As always here is my run down of the film.
1 death by impalement on an iron fence
Multiple gunshot deaths
1 rabbit guttin
1 beheading
1death by crushed sternum
1 Arm Decapitation
1 Death by intestine eaten
1 Death by Compressed air
1 Skined and cooked alive torture sceen
1 Vehicular Homicide.

ITs worth a rental or adrop in the que if your looking for some zombie entertainment. But if you do rent it you need to also rent 2000 Maniacs and even 2001 Maniacs to make it truely a Hillbilly hoe down of the Living Dead. Hey thats kinda catchy title.

Tresspassers

Tresspassers is a movie that was a bit surprising. Now as always I was not expectin much for the film because then I am usually pleasently surprised, not so much with this one. Bunch of surfer dudes go to a remote beach to catch some narly waves and instead become zombie fodder. For a handy cam movie the quality of the video and audio were very good. It was had at time s to tell it was a handy cam shot film. well unless you focused on the cinematography. There was shaky cam and very quick pans where should have been hard cuts. Sure this can work for reality TV but this is a movie we are talking about. Anyway the story was interesting and the characters were entertaining enough to keep you watching, for the first 20mins. Then when we actually get to the horror and gore the movie falls flat. You don't see any real development in the characters and the one blatant male masturbation scene seemed to be just put in for shock value. The make up on the "Zombies" made them look as though they had a dirty face then actual decay. The gore affects where alright but I was expecting a bit more of it from a project of this nature. The run down is pretty week today 2 topless shots Mutiple mutilated corpses 1 male masturbation scene. 2 zombie bites thats about it. The killings were being done off camera or in a way that required very little FX which stylistically is kinda cool but if your going to do a movie like this then a little more on screen gore is required. Pass this one up folks it was not worth the time.

The Raven....Your defending yourself you coward

Now the Raven has been done many, many, many times as a film but I think for me none are more memorable than the Roger Corman version of the Raven. I remember first seeing this film on beta when I was a kid and I enjoyed as much now as I did then. Unfortunately I was not able to obtain a copy of the film on DVD. It was limited print and I missed out on the limit. Sure I could pay an extraordinary amount for the DVD on e-bay but not worth the price people are asking for. I lucked out thought recently and a friend of mine borrowed me a copy that they had and after watching it again I wanted to share some thoughts about it. This movie is the first one to feature Vincent Price, Peter Lorre and Boris Karloff on the screen at the same time. I can only imagine how big the movie must have been when it first came out. This was like the all stars of horror movies. Now toss in the up and coming talented Jack Nicholson with the beautiful Hazel Court and Olive STurgess and you got yourself a fun movie. This is a comedy not so much in the vein of say scarey movie but more along the lines of Clue only not quite so slap stick. There is a lot of chemistry between the stars and its hard to say who exactly is stealing the spot light when the three titans of horror were together in the same scene. I love the pacing of this movie alot more than the Terror and enjoy the subtly of the humor more in this than Comedy of Terrors. Don't get me Wrong comedy is another entertaining classic but its not the same as the Raven. The DVD cleans up the print the best it can and there are only a few spots where it is a bit blurry. Also the joy of seeing it for the first time in letter Box filled me with delight. All too often the older movies fell victim to pan and scan and were never able to escape it. The problem with that is the viewer misses out on seeing just how expansive the sets were for these older films. The movie is also worth seeing the young Jack Nicholson. Already perfecting his perfect crazy face at this young age. You may at first not quite recognize him but once he gets his smile on you go...yep that's jack. I also love the voice in general of the three principle characters. Vincent's tone, Peter Lorre's classic sniviling and Boris Karloff's classic voice all help keep the dialog interesting. All in all a great film and can truely be called a classic. Definitely worth a watch.

The Devils Backbone.

Guillermo del Torro does not disappoint in making entertaining, thought provoking, films. He wrote and directed this little piece of cinema about a boy left at an orphanage who comes across a ghost of a boy looking for revenge. The premise may not be exactly original but it is set against the backdrop of the last days of the Spanish Civil war which helps give the movie is own identity. While there is a great special effect with the Ghost Child Santi the movies strength are its characters. They make you care for them or dispise them as you are supposed to. The script is well written and has you wondering through a good part of it, "who dunnit" and why is the boys spirit not at piece. The main character is a child and , like in Pans Labyrinth , helps move the events along. del Torro reall does well in making you care about the characters and at times makes the threat of the war reaching the orphange more supsensful and scary than Santi. He has not done a large number of movies but the ones I have seen I have liked. The first Hellboy was the weakest for me but he made up with the second one. He also is unflinching in using children as characters in the films and also in having bad things happen to the kids. The first movie of his I saw was Mimic. He caught me off guard when he showed on film a child dying. This is does not happen often in horror movies at the time. Child characters have died but usually its off camera or mentioned in passing. There is child deaths , obviously, in Devils Backbone so if that type of graphic visual is not to your liking I would not suggest you watch the film. If you are a fan of Pans Labrynth or just looking for a good piece of cinema to watch, I recommend this movie. I know subtitles are not to everyone's liking but I also suggest watching it in its native language with english subtitles. The dubbing is not the best and distracts you from some brilliant performances

WRESTLEMANIAC

Oh yeah baby. Slasher movies come to Wrestling...or more appropriately a Wrestler comes to Slasher movies. Nothing more entertaining than a man in a luchedore mask going around killing people. This movie was a very pleasent surprise and I enjoyed it more than I probably should. IF you were wondering where Rey Mesterio Senior has been, Apparently locked away in some remote mexican town going ape shit crazy. This movie has it all, suspense, thrills, crazy old guy, hot women wearing next to nothing and gore. Definitely made for the wrestling fan in mind the movie opens with shots of classic Luche wrestling from mexico. Whats funny is that the moves they were doing in the footage are nearly the same moves show in today mainstream wrasslin. The actors in this movie do well to keep the film entertaining , even in its slow spots. There is humor and the pacing over all of the movie is handled well. What thought was a nice touch was the fact that you don't actually get to see what the killer looks like until the third kill and fourth kill. Thats something a number of B-horror movies or just horror movies in general seem to forget about doing. They show what the villian looks like on the first shot or even in the trailers. I think you lose your suspense when that is done. There are exceptions to this of course but I always liked it when you weren't shown right away the evil in the movie. working up to the complete image makes it extra creepy. THis is how you make a b-horror film. They do quite a bit with the small cast and limited budget. The last horror movie I saw with a wrestler in it was See No Evil with Kane. Kane was not a westler in it but probably should have been. IT would have made the movie more entertaining. I actually enjoyed Wrestlemaniac more than See No Evil. I highly recomend it for fans of B-horror and especially for fans of wrestling and for anyone just looking for some decent horror.

Dead Snow.

A Norwegian Nazi Zombie movie. It was alot better than I though it would be. The movie also pays homage to the zombie movies before it. You have 6 friends that look to spend a holiday at a remote cabin in the mountains. Little did they know that there was a platoon of Zombie Nazi's that haunt the woods and they don't like trespassers. The Characters are just your standard college kids though they did make them all medical students which is a bit of a twist. Also a twist was that one of them was afraid of blood ironic for both the fact he's a medical student and cause he's in a Zombie movie. The director does well to make you care about the characters at least enough to where you would not want to see them dead. There are a number make you jump moments. There is plenty of gore. The story of the film is actually well played out and its not long before your realize its not just a gimmick movie. They put some thought behind it. Those who have seen zombie films will catch the honor they pay to movies such as Night of the living dead and yes Evil Dead 2. Once again it is proven that foreign films are becoming more and more competition for the US cinema for the quality of film produced. Once again we have running zombies but it fits the film and I have grown use to them at this point. Now with Dead Snow you do have to deal with subtitles but they do not remove you from the experience at all. I am happily surprised at the movie and definitely recomend it for all zombie and horror movie fans alike. It is on my to buy list for sure.

Foreign Film Review: The Tears of the Black Dragon

Tears of the Black Dragon is a film brought to us from Thailand and it is a cult movie that is a genre crossing action packed visually fun movie that allows you to just escape and enjoy. It is a action ,romance, comedy film that has some fantastic visual colors that help shape this world the movie takes place in. The poke fun at not only romance movies, but spaghetti westerns and even the fantasy asian kung fu film. With a movie where the name of the main character is Dum and his lover/ wannabe wife called Rumpoey you know this movie is not meant to be serious. The violence is over the top and everywhere but it is so overly colored that it is more humorous than shocking. The dialog overly cheesy but its meant to be. Thats what makes it entertaining., its a bad movie meant to be bad. You know right from the begining you are to have fun with the film.
There is one part where their is a wicked shoot out with some over the top action. One of the stunts is so over the top the movie stops and asks if you want to see that again so you can catch all the action that happened in slow mo. Classic.
The costuming ranges from old west to 50s teen. Some of the camera work reminds me of the old 50's romance films while the oddly filtered colors help bring emotion to the scene.
I recommend this film for the spaghetti western lovers and also to those who enjoy a good foreign action comedy romance. Similar movies of this style are Shaolin Soccer and Kung Fu Hustle, to excellent and must see comedies.

3 and a half stubs

Movie Review: Brotherhood of Blood

You would think a movie with Sid Haig would have been better than what Brotherhood of Blood was. Now I have seen many reviews praising this film. I thought it was just ok. The story line was interesting. You had a group of vampire hunters lead by the attractive Victoria Pratt going after a group of Vamps who have one of their own, they are also hunting a CEO who has been bitten and A Vampire in his position would be bad for the world. Meanwhile you have vampires trying to avoid a Mega Vampire god from being ressurected.
It is low budget which I came to expect. Nothing wrong with that at all and the F/X they did with the budget were decent. I just couldn't get into it as much as I would have liked. I tried but the movie seemed to drag for a bit and the directing just could have been better. The music was decent but the Audio left something to be desired. The whole scene with a captured vampire was handled well.
It seemed at times Sid was less than enthusiastic to be there. I guess it may be tough going from the higher budgeted Devils Rejects to this. Again its a movie that was kind of just there. I don't hate it but then again I don't really like it either.
Its ok for a rental for a night if you are looking for a different type of Vampire movie. This one has a nice taste of Noir to it as well. There is a twist at the end which I didn't see coming so that did help get an extra half of a stub.
It gets 2 Stubs